Today. Today is the day that it all starts. This new phase. This independent phase; something I've been mentally preparing myself for for weeks and months and years. The trip out was fabulous: rain, sun, cold and warm. I sat in the stuffed backseat and simply watched Dexter (which I highly highly recommend.) We are in Tacoma as I write this. My dad was driving, my mom was freaking, and I was contemplating the similarities between freeway traffic and my own life. I'm moving so quickly in the direction of my future. As I careen down these 6 lanes of my life, there are a lot of exits, but I don't bother getting off. I just keep moving. I have to slam the brakes sometimes. I swear sometimes. I apologize sometimes, and sometimes I just don't give a crap whether I am completely in control or totally reckless. And as I go, I ask myself a few questions: Am I moving at a speed I can handle? Am I controlling this car, or is it controlling me? Should I slow down so I can see the scenery passing me by? Am I following some kind of compass or just my own instincts? Should I be following something besides why my own insides tell me? Where is this road taking me? Does it even matter as long as I get there?
Oh well...I probably would have let some of this stuff get to me before. But I'm making a conscious decision. Do what you want. I'm on to brighter things. Today.
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